Ladies (and gentlemen), it’s that time of year again. It’s the ruthless, hair pulling, lipstick smudging, and seldom occurring Sephora VIB rouge sale. Being the deal seeking Jew that I am, I turn into a vicious animal as those black and white striped doors open and the scent of overpriced perfume fills my lungs.
This sale is a generous (if you know makeup you understand it’s truly generous) 15% off EVERYTHING. Well, that and Starbucks. For those of you that think 15% off might seem like nothing. I hear you, but let me just say that makeup (GOOD makeup, drugstore makeup users your opinions need not apply here) never goes on sale. So to get even 15% off is a HUGE deal. If I’m being completely honest with you I’ll tell you that I rarely shop at Sephora other than during the sale weeks, unless I run out of something of course, mama has to look good… for herself & the gays. So ladies, prepare yourself. This sale is not for the weary. Specifically on the sneak peek day (TODAY), which if you’re smart you’re going too.
Let me break it down for you. First, let’s take a minute to understand the actual acronym. Very. Important. Beauty. Like many rewards programs you have to earn your way to the top. VIB Rouge means that rather than save up for your 401 k or any of life's random money sucking tragedy’s (sorry dad), you’re stocking up on your favorite mascara and bb cream just in case of what? Idk, an apocalypse maybe? Regardless of how you get there, I want you to know that the moment the cashier asks you if you’re a rewards member and you pull out your shiny red card and explain it’s not a membership but rather an addiction you will feel nothing but pure satisfaction and happiness. Much like the moments post childbirth (key word is post), or so I imagine anyway.
How do I accomplish this? I stock the **** up during this sale. I’m at the point in my makeup routine where I’m not experimenting as much. Don’t get me wrong, I’m always trying new things, however, I more mean that in order to get me to switch from my go to bb cream, moisturizer, mascara, etc, you’d have to REALLY convince me it’s worth it. Things like eye shadow, glitter, highlighter, bronzer, etc, I’m more likely to play around with. So I do my research and find out what new gems are coming home with me to sit in my well-crafted tower of makeup (my prize possession) and add on a few of the staples I use daily throughout the year in bulk supply. Isn’t this pricy you ask? Yes, yes it is. Remember how I told you VIB was a commitment? Wasn’t joking. BUT if you just think about how much you are saving overall it makes the sale aftermath buyer’s remorse a bit easier to swallow. It’s like buying car insurance once a year vs. every month. Initially a huge commitment, but in the end, FREEEEEEE.
So grab your coffee, eat a banana, maybe even a chicken cutlet (protein is KEY) and buckle up. Have your list in one hand and a Taser in the other and prepare yourself for the most invigorating experience of a lifetime… that happens twice a year. If you get there on day three or four of the sale just prepare for sadness, you’re too late. Happy shopping pretties! BYEEEEEEE.